tonight i went McD with a few very closed friends...that was quite surprising when they invite me so lately for supper...they seldom do, at least the tradition had been abandoned for ages..
somehow, the event turned out to be a lil' bit boring, less talking, less gossiping and less of everything..just very simple munchings and pressing cell phones
the soul and the excitation was not there...receeded and tired
its kinda weird to do something "downhill" between closed friends yea...that was like...(i do not know how to describe)..awkward
i could sense invisible wall between us...there on the wall wrote "keep a distance or i'll bite you"
the next thing i realized was..."i wish to return home sooner"
we don't usually act like that..i do not understand why stuffs just couldn't work out the way they supposed to be...and i ain't liking that
deep down, i pretty knew that i was a replacement material..
indeed, there was like an agreement in ourselves which do not allow us to appear simultaneously...either one
i might be a bit over sensitive but...i just feel thats not right..
they mentioned me to be "homey" lately...hmm.. i don't think that are true
just that, there's sorts of repulsive energy circulating between me and them
they are fine...but im the one who holds the conflict...
eventually, my mind developed resistant towards the gang..not wanting to interact much, not wanting to join and sometimes i have the feeling that it is unnecessary to entertain them..
i do not know what the hell, but they just exist in me and that, bother me much
actually, that was much expected...from the very second i'd clarified choices, the development of the story branches into different directions as well
those different directions signify that things will never be the same again, although we wish to..
i guess humans do mature after going through the thicks...they learned from the pain..learned of the moral that promised the whole life..and they grow..that made us a different foundation kids we knew of...
maybe there shall come a time that we should all be apart, leading a life without each other, and when that moment arrived, maybe conditions will turn positive..never better
